I wish more women and men would find out...

[rosered32]

about Emotional Abuse sooner.  Here is something I read that just puts it in a very clear light (IMO)



I've seen variations of the below text on MySpace.  It wasn't written specifically about this problem, but it struck me as a fairly accurate description of how impossible it is to interact with an emotional abuser.  (Damned if you do, damned if you don't.)

If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn.
If you're quiet, he argues with you anyway.
If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy.
If he calls you, he thinks you should be grateful.
If you don't act like you love him, he'll try to win you over.
If you tell him you love him, he takes advantage of you.
If  you dress sexy, he says you're a slut.
If you don't dress nice, he says you look bad.
When you don't sleep with him, he says you don't love him.
If you do sleep with him, he only does it the way he likes it.
If you tell him your problems, he says you're bothering him,
If you don't, he says you don't trust him.
If you try to bring up a problem, he says you're bitching.
If he brings up a problem, he yells.
If you break a promise, you "can't be trusted".
If he breaks it, it's because "he had to".
If you cheat, he wants to punish you by locking you up or beating you.
If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.

If this sound familiar get help as soon as you can.  It will help in your next relationship even if you get away from the abusive one.

Thank you and good night

Comments

[jazzbird.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting this. It's tough to read, but all too accurate.

[rosered32.livejournal.com]

I know very well how accurate this is myself.

Hugs

[jazzbird.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Right back at ya'.

[stellaspike.livejournal.com]

While I appreciate the sentiment, I also think this outlines a list of things that people do in relationships, especially women, who think they are entitled to be bottomless pits of need, and utter dependence on a man.
Calling someone once is not needy and clingy, but I see women who call thier men 5 or 10 times in a single evening, which in my book is needy and clingy.

[rosered32.livejournal.com]

I agree! I am not saying this only goes one way. Women do these things too! Men can be victums of emotional abuse just the same as women. This "poem" just happended to be from a female perspective. I have witnessed men who are in abusive relationships and are the abused not the abuser.

But thank you for sharing that. This really should have he/she verses just he.

[stellaspike.livejournal.com]

yah I thought about mentioning gender after I commented as well- as no gender is safe from that kind of behavior.
I just get worried when I see stuff like this that its giving parasites permission, instead of just pointing out what an icky relationship looks like.

[rosered32.livejournal.com]

I was in a odd place that I wasn't thinking about the gender issue, but again Thank you for reminding me as well as others who might see this.

And it is true of any relationship, love or work or friendship! All these situation can happen.

Hugs and I hope you are well.
We still need to get together! What does your August look like? Preferably week day evenings...Let me know.

[stellaspike.livejournal.com]

I have alot of freetime between august 11th and august 25th

[rosered32.livejournal.com]

COOL! I will contact you on Monday and we will set a date please.
Thank you!

[stellaspike.livejournal.com]

okie dokie