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So Christmas....
Dec. 30th, 2001 10:15 pmChristmas was interesting. I spent Christmas Eve and Morning with my mate's family then rushed to my adoptive father's to have my last Christmas at the family house. He is moving to Ohio to be with my mom and brother....long story. So it was odd. There was no tree and it was strange. My sister and her husband were fun and I had Peking Duck for dinner. It was kind of like dinner in A Christmas Story but there were no Bumpus Hounds or Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra's. Anyway....
I got some great gifts and I got my mate a great gift I thought until his friend got him a first edition book I never would have been able to find. Yes I was jealous. I some times just can't help it. This friend makes me feel inferior in way too many ways and I wonder if my mate is bored with me somedays. I know he isn't from what he says, and I believe him, but sometimes it is hard not to let that friend get to me. I am overreacting but some times it is hard for my heart and head to agree. I just feel stupid around this person and I am not stupid. I just can't keep up sometimes. I don't know the things this person knows and it is frustrating as this person can make any one feel like how could one not know what they know. I just needed to vent. Sorry......
I need to move. The place I live in is too small. There isn't enough storage and I keep gettting more stuff as my father is moving and I just got a ton of stuff from my childhood. And of course there was Christmas stuff too. And there is 3 other people in the 2 bedroom/1 bath. So there you go...
Some days I feel like I have done nothing with my life and that I don't know what I want to do with my life that I am not already doing. I feel like I "live a small life" and it is important to a degree but then I hear about things others are doing like writing papers that will change the face of science or such and I feel like I am not doing anything with my life. I know that I am shaping the future by teaching small children, but some times that seems insignificant. It is something I enjoy, but it is also seems so small/ unimportant. I don't know..... thanks for letting me vent...
I got some great gifts and I got my mate a great gift I thought until his friend got him a first edition book I never would have been able to find. Yes I was jealous. I some times just can't help it. This friend makes me feel inferior in way too many ways and I wonder if my mate is bored with me somedays. I know he isn't from what he says, and I believe him, but sometimes it is hard not to let that friend get to me. I am overreacting but some times it is hard for my heart and head to agree. I just feel stupid around this person and I am not stupid. I just can't keep up sometimes. I don't know the things this person knows and it is frustrating as this person can make any one feel like how could one not know what they know. I just needed to vent. Sorry......
I need to move. The place I live in is too small. There isn't enough storage and I keep gettting more stuff as my father is moving and I just got a ton of stuff from my childhood. And of course there was Christmas stuff too. And there is 3 other people in the 2 bedroom/1 bath. So there you go...
Some days I feel like I have done nothing with my life and that I don't know what I want to do with my life that I am not already doing. I feel like I "live a small life" and it is important to a degree but then I hear about things others are doing like writing papers that will change the face of science or such and I feel like I am not doing anything with my life. I know that I am shaping the future by teaching small children, but some times that seems insignificant. It is something I enjoy, but it is also seems so small/ unimportant. I don't know..... thanks for letting me vent...
