Thanks Heartless Doll... I loved Skippy!

Top Ten Nerds from the '80s

Posted at 5:00 AM Dec 01, 2008

By Jennifer Mathieu

Nerds get a bum rap, even if they usually do go on to run the world.  (Despite the mad basketball skillz, we know that Barack Obama is a total nerd, right?)  Anyway, what other decade besides the '80s spawned such memorable nerds as the ones you see below you?  So let's all grab our pocket protectors, raise a glass of Ovaltine and salute these fine young men and women.

10. The Entire Cast of Head of the Class

As depressing as it was to watch the former Dr. Johnny Fever (Howard Hesseman, natch) go down-market for this less than stellar sitcom, we'd be remiss not to mention this crew of outsiders simply because you got so many nerds for the price of one.  There was the child prodigy nerd (Janice), the sexy nerd (Eric) and the classic nerd (Arvid).  (There was also Robin Givens, but we mostly try and forget about her.)  This show rolled further downhill when Dr. Fever finally came to his senses and moved back to WKRP in Cincinnati, but it chose to linger on with some Scottish man at the helm for one or two more seasons.  Check this out for more analysis of Head of the Class than you ever thought possible.  

9. Jordan from Real Genius

So, how many times did you watch Real Genius?  However many times you say, I promise you I watched it 10 more times than that.  This was one of my favorite junior high slumber party rentals and for good reason.  Yes, Val Kilmer was yummy, yes, there was that weird Lazlo guy living in the closet, and yes, there was that crazy ending with popcorn everywhere as a Tears for Fears song played.  But I mostly loved it because of Jordan (played by Michelle Meyrink).  Finally, a nerdy girl who was cute and smart!  What a shocker to my cute, smart, junior high self!  And she gets the guy in the end!  (Granted, it was that weird Mitch dude and not Val Kilmer, but at least she got a guy.)

8. The Ladies of Omega Mu

Sadly, Jordan was an isolated case when it comes to '80s female nerds.  Remember the ladies of Omega Mu in Revenge of the Nerds?  Frankly, even at the age of 12 I found the whole setup of this film to be totally gross and so stereotypical it ceased to be funny.  I mean, how long can one watch Ted McGinley running around in a jock strap before it gets a little tiresome?  However, I do mention the Omega Mus because they owned their nerdiness and rocked it hard despite the nasty behavior of those mean girls at the Pi house.  Crazily enough, Michelle Meyrink, who played Jordan in Real Genius, was also cast as an Omega Mu in this film.  Typecast much?
 
7. Skippy from Family Ties

Forever linked in my mind with my favorite brand of peanut butter, poor Skippy was both nerdy and unlucky in love.  (I guess the two do tend to go hand in hand sometimes.)  Destined to play second fiddle to Mallory's hip artist boyfriend Nick, poor Skippy was relegated to the background as a meddling buffoon.  But if Family Ties was real life, you totally know Skippy would be the head of his own Fortune 500 company by now and Nick would be in rehab for that meth problem he just can't kick.

6. Pee-Wee Herman

The debate lingers on: Was Pee-Wee a nerd or simply an overgrown man child whose antics served as great fodder for college students who watched him while high?  The answer is both.  I think Pee-Wee will always be recognized for taking the nerdy image (bow tie, squeaky voice, slicked down hair) and transforming it into something that surpassed nerdiness.  However, since the basis for his persona was the ultimate nerd, he definitely belongs on this list.  AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!  Oh, forgot to mention that "list" was the word of the day.


5. Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club 

What I loved about AMH's portrayal of the nerd in The Breakfast Club was how absolutely pitch perfect it was.  He was a believable nerd, not some cartoonish freak like the dudes in Revenge of the Nerds.  Brian cared about his grades (a little too much -- remember the flare gun?), was a proud member of the physics club (demented and sad, but social), and was the only one who didn't get a little nookie by the time the movie was over.  Mr. Hall grew up to be almost unrecognizable when compared to his teenage self, but in our hearts he'll always be our Brian.

4. Patty and Lauren from Square Pegs

Rumor has it that Sarah Jessica Parker was considered too pretty for the part of nerdy Patty until producers of this short-lived cult phenomenon came up with the idea of putting those big honkin' glasses on her sweet face.  And Amy Linker, who played Lauren, had to wear padding to appear a little chunky.  Regardless of these crutches, SJP and Amy were perfect as two girls obsessed with becoming popular (OK, so Lauren was a little more obsessed).  Frankly, if you ask me, Jami Gertz as the stuck up Muffy B. Tepperman was the real nerd.  Who wants to be president of the Morals Club?!

3. Freddy Lippincottleman from Silver Spoons

I guess the producers of Silver Spoons really needed to make it clear that Freddy was a nerd, hence the last name, Lippincottleman.  Why not just name him Freddy Nerd?  The most bizarre memory I have of Freddy is this weird episode where he became popular because he sent a letter to then Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill to express his concerns about homelesseness.  Tip O'Neill is even in the episode.  Yeah, I'm not kidding.  Man, the '80s were so weird.

2. Dr. Ruth Westheimer: Sex Nerd

Am I the only one who feels this way about Dr. Ruth?  That even as she talked about orgasms and vaginas, she somehow came off as slightly nerdy?  Maybe it was the accent or the giggles that erupted as she spoke, but I could never quite take Dr. Ruth seriously.  And I was an '80s teen, desperate for any information on sex that I could find outside of my mother's Danielle Steele novels!  All in all, she was definitely the only sex expert out there who somehow came across as totally asexual.  And nerdy. 

1. Bill Gates  

What Brian from The Breakfast Club grew up to become.  While others were reading Bret Easton Ellis and doing lines in nightclub bathrooms, Bill (that's Mr. Gates to you) was growing Microsoft into a company that would take over the world in the next decade.  And he did it all while embodying the ultimate nerdiness we've come to love about him and all the other nerds who rule.  Now he lives in a big ol' fancy house and gives away tons of cash to poor people.  Meanwhile, no one's read a Bret Easton Ellis novel in years.  Hmm...