can't talk

[rosered32]

I keep realizing how much I don't know how to express my heart or feelings. It is too hard to even say how I feel to people whom I should trust. I can talk about things that aren't super important to me but not about how I feel in my heart. I just am terrified that I will scare people. I guess that comes from not being able to talk to a parent or someone who should have cared about me when I was younger. Or may be it is from when I was a child and some one hurt me and I told a person I trusted and they didn't believe me about who it was. It also didn't stop. I still don't know how to let people see exactly in side even though I don't hide emotions well at all. I just can't seem to open up and it isn't helping my relationship. I am terrifed that he will leave and then when we fight I ask why he doesn't just leave. Why I do that, I am not sure....