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I am so tired and I don't get to sleep. I have been going full blast since Friday last week. I went to SLO Ren. Faire and was up making breakfast and trying to help with everything. I was one of the last dressed everyday which made me feel lazy but I was trying to do my job by helping to feed everyone. I then ran around and had fun with my friends and Booda is a blast to just hang out with! He really makes Faire fun for me. On Sunday I found out I may be "engaged " to Vittorio and I am not sure how I feel about this. He is a nice guy but may be it wouldn't be a great gig! We shall see as It isn't offical yet and he may be complaining to others that he doesn't want to do this. What ever!
My love is confusing me sometime. He had to stay home the faire weekend because we had an apartment inspection and the house was a mess from us moving furniture aound. I had guests going with me or I would have stayed home and helped. I did feel bad but I went any way. I guess somedays I feel like I work 40 hours a week and still have to okay my plans with him if I don't ask first. I know it is just me but I don't always know when to say "f*** off I am going to have fun with my friends " and when to stick aound and see him. This was probably one time when I would have stayed but I had people depending on me and they couldn't go with out me. Yet some times I feel like I should have tried harder to do what he wanted and stayed home. He did get help from a couple of his friends and everything worked out . He got to still do his thing and such. I of course got bothered by who helped him and can't say anything. Yes I am jealous of one of the women friends in his life because of what he says about the fun he had and the things she did and such. It is hard as I have had a man "stolen" and been lied to about it. The stolen part wasn't really as hard as the lied to about it. I just some times forget that just becuase I love him doesn't mean everyone else will or could etc. Okay I need to go ...I just wish life were as easy as in the fairy books but then it would be boring!
My love is confusing me sometime. He had to stay home the faire weekend because we had an apartment inspection and the house was a mess from us moving furniture aound. I had guests going with me or I would have stayed home and helped. I did feel bad but I went any way. I guess somedays I feel like I work 40 hours a week and still have to okay my plans with him if I don't ask first. I know it is just me but I don't always know when to say "f*** off I am going to have fun with my friends " and when to stick aound and see him. This was probably one time when I would have stayed but I had people depending on me and they couldn't go with out me. Yet some times I feel like I should have tried harder to do what he wanted and stayed home. He did get help from a couple of his friends and everything worked out . He got to still do his thing and such. I of course got bothered by who helped him and can't say anything. Yes I am jealous of one of the women friends in his life because of what he says about the fun he had and the things she did and such. It is hard as I have had a man "stolen" and been lied to about it. The stolen part wasn't really as hard as the lied to about it. I just some times forget that just becuase I love him doesn't mean everyone else will or could etc. Okay I need to go ...I just wish life were as easy as in the fairy books but then it would be boring!
