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WHAT WOMEN HAVE TO SAY TO MEN - found online somwhere - please tell me if you know where this came from.
1. Talking -- as in "conversation" -- is an acceptable form of communication, and you are asked to use complete sentences, including nouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives, not just monosyllables. of Course if we are both tired, then this can change some....
2. Ignore us at your own peril.
3. The question "Do I look fat?" is not meant to be answered with anything other than "Of course not; you are always beautiful." If you can't lie like that, you'd better learn. Or at least ask us if we really want to know. I mean Yes you may love us, but SOME of us really do want to know if this makes us look fatter than we know we are.
4. The TV remote control belongs to whoever grabs it first, with no exceptions. The prize goes to the swiftest.
5. Just because we complain about a problem, doesn't mean we want you to suggest a solution. We can figure out our own solutions, and we probably have already done so before bringing whatever it is up with you. If we want your fuckin' solutions, we'll ask for them. If we don't ask, we just want some empathy. We are like that. Deal with it. And we can use a hug during thesee rants also...
6. It is not hard to remember birthdays and anniversaries. All you need is a calendar and a pencil – or a palm pilot, if you are so inclined – and a brain capable of retaining a simple memory.And You don't need us to remind you all the time either!
7. The celebration of birthdays and anniversaries automatically cancels out any other plans you might have had for the day, with the possible exception of major surgery or death. Unless we BOTH have agreed to some other activity! Look in your calendar!
8. Speaking of birthdays and anniversaries, the following is a partial list of things that you had better not try to give as gifts if you value your life as it is now: anything having to do with housework (such as blenders, vacuum cleaners, toasters, whatever); anything that might conceivably be used by other people in the house; tee shirts; books about personal finance; a video of "War of the Worlds" or some other guy-flick; slutty lingerie; dinner at McDonalds.Unless specificly asked for those items are more for any other time.. we want you to get something that isn't practical and would make us smile when we received it.
9. The following is a partial list of things are acceptable to give to us: jewelry; a nice new dress or other nice clothes that can be safely worn outside the house; flowers; a bottle of Chanel No. 5; cash; a gift certificate for a luxury spa treatment; dinner at a really nice restaurant; a new car (as long as nobody else gets to drive it). And we will glad except a list from you of stuff you would want!
10. We are always going to want you to kill large bugs and get rid of dead rodents for us. We figure you are more qualified to deal with vermin than we are. We also know that your masculine pride won't allow you to let us know if you are just as grossed out as we are, and that you will pick up a dead mouse or go after a large spider just to prove yourself.
11. If both of us are working full-time, we had better share the household chores or hire a housekeeper. We will appreciate any effort you make to help with housecleaning, laundry, shopping and cooking. Don't take it personally if we let you know you are not doing it right and suggest better ways. You know we are going to do that anyway.
12. Shopping is too a sport. It involves walking, carrying and/or pushing things. It's a great way to keep in shape, and you get stuff. End of discussion.
13. "Saw III" is NOT a date movie, and we do NOT spend $60 a month for cable TV to spend our Monday evenings watching "Raw."Not when there is CSI or Monk or Doctor Who or BSG on!!!!
14. Certain things may be placed in the living room. We call them "furniture." A boat engine and a can of gasoline do not qualify as "furniture," even if it is possible to sit on them or put things on them. Does this really need to be said?
15. "Six minutes is not sex. It's a boiled egg." (This is a quote from Sophie Kinsella's "The Undomestic Goddess" if anyone wants to know.)Try a minium of half hour and work your way up from there! And You can say what you want, just undestand we will do the same!
1. Talking -- as in "conversation" -- is an acceptable form of communication, and you are asked to use complete sentences, including nouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives, not just monosyllables. of Course if we are both tired, then this can change some....
2. Ignore us at your own peril.
3. The question "Do I look fat?" is not meant to be answered with anything other than "Of course not; you are always beautiful." If you can't lie like that, you'd better learn. Or at least ask us if we really want to know. I mean Yes you may love us, but SOME of us really do want to know if this makes us look fatter than we know we are.
4. The TV remote control belongs to whoever grabs it first, with no exceptions. The prize goes to the swiftest.
5. Just because we complain about a problem, doesn't mean we want you to suggest a solution. We can figure out our own solutions, and we probably have already done so before bringing whatever it is up with you. If we want your fuckin' solutions, we'll ask for them. If we don't ask, we just want some empathy. We are like that. Deal with it. And we can use a hug during thesee rants also...
6. It is not hard to remember birthdays and anniversaries. All you need is a calendar and a pencil – or a palm pilot, if you are so inclined – and a brain capable of retaining a simple memory.And You don't need us to remind you all the time either!
7. The celebration of birthdays and anniversaries automatically cancels out any other plans you might have had for the day, with the possible exception of major surgery or death. Unless we BOTH have agreed to some other activity! Look in your calendar!
8. Speaking of birthdays and anniversaries, the following is a partial list of things that you had better not try to give as gifts if you value your life as it is now: anything having to do with housework (such as blenders, vacuum cleaners, toasters, whatever); anything that might conceivably be used by other people in the house; tee shirts; books about personal finance; a video of "War of the Worlds" or some other guy-flick; slutty lingerie; dinner at McDonalds.Unless specificly asked for those items are more for any other time.. we want you to get something that isn't practical and would make us smile when we received it.
9. The following is a partial list of things are acceptable to give to us: jewelry; a nice new dress or other nice clothes that can be safely worn outside the house; flowers; a bottle of Chanel No. 5; cash; a gift certificate for a luxury spa treatment; dinner at a really nice restaurant; a new car (as long as nobody else gets to drive it). And we will glad except a list from you of stuff you would want!
10. We are always going to want you to kill large bugs and get rid of dead rodents for us. We figure you are more qualified to deal with vermin than we are. We also know that your masculine pride won't allow you to let us know if you are just as grossed out as we are, and that you will pick up a dead mouse or go after a large spider just to prove yourself.
11. If both of us are working full-time, we had better share the household chores or hire a housekeeper. We will appreciate any effort you make to help with housecleaning, laundry, shopping and cooking. Don't take it personally if we let you know you are not doing it right and suggest better ways. You know we are going to do that anyway.
12. Shopping is too a sport. It involves walking, carrying and/or pushing things. It's a great way to keep in shape, and you get stuff. End of discussion.
13. "Saw III" is NOT a date movie, and we do NOT spend $60 a month for cable TV to spend our Monday evenings watching "Raw."Not when there is CSI or Monk or Doctor Who or BSG on!!!!
14. Certain things may be placed in the living room. We call them "furniture." A boat engine and a can of gasoline do not qualify as "furniture," even if it is possible to sit on them or put things on them. Does this really need to be said?
15. "Six minutes is not sex. It's a boiled egg." (This is a quote from Sophie Kinsella's "The Undomestic Goddess" if anyone wants to know.)Try a minium of half hour and work your way up from there! And You can say what you want, just undestand we will do the same!
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 05:50 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 11:36 pm (UTC)From:But I understand about the lack of being a girl for some of these "what a woman wants" stuff... I want dice myself! And books! Ah well..
Here is to being unconventional!*salute*
no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 11:27 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2006-10-17 11:37 pm (UTC)From:XP